Back to being behind.
Well, it’s come again. I’m falling behind with my schoolwork, and life in general.
Last week friday, we had a handful of tests for certain classes. And for 2 of the three I had no time to study. The only one I did have time to study for, well…the studying wasn’t very much. I almost went into that test being nervous. And I am never that way when it comes to tests, because that will only get in the way of my memory. Basically, I had to rely on my memory of the lessons. Which, fortunately, came quite easily to me. At least, I hope it did…Maybe I was writing wrong answers for everything without even noticing it.
I’ve just been exhausted the past week or so, and it’s affecting my mood. I’ve been so negative towards everything, especially in my thoughts. And when I see assignments passing by me, and I know that it’s just not possible to do everything that I need to to keep on top of life, my future dreams, and my homework…well, it’s just depressing.
I don’t know. Things just haven’t been turning out for the better in my life. And I’ll admit, that I just might be a little depressed from it all. I’ve always had the mentality that being positive all the time, or just joking about everything, would be enough to keep me happier. But I just can’t keep that mentality anymore.
What also doesn’t help, is when people don’t show up at work. We had another case of that, and this time, I don’t really know the reason behind it. Simply put, we had NO dishwasher on friday. And NO dishwasher, means UTTER CHAOS! We were all scrambling all day to finish our work and the dishwasher’s work(which none of us really knew how to do). I was there till 8:30 that night. Luckily for them, my social life has all but vanished since I’ve been working there. Another reason for my feeling horrible.
I just want to sleep. But there can’t be any sleep for me, because there’s just too much to do. Why do I have to work full time and a half, and still be expected to get through with everything else in my life?
Fast-Paced Frenzy
Every other week, as a bunch of people already know, I attend the breakfast club at Beacon Christian High School. It’s a place where a few of the Beacon high school students get together, hang out, eat breakfast and do devotions in the morning. I know what you’re thinking. I’m not a Beaconite. Well…I have a bunch of great friends who are, and this is one of the great ways I can be with them! I wish I could go every week, but I have chapel at my school every other week as well.
Well, this week was pretty nice. I tried to do a traditional French breakfast that we had in France while I was there. Croissants(which turned into bagels), with ham and cheese. I also had some honey and grapes in there for a little “spice”.
But it wasn’t the food I brought this time that made a click in my mind. It was what we talked about in devotions.
The underlying idea was: American society is fastpaced. We are possessions-rich, but we aren’t time-rich.
Sure, I already figured that everything moved just too quickly in our society. And I’d already made a promise to myself that I wouldn’t let this fast-paced attitude get the better of me. But, it turns out, that I’ve already broken that promise to myself.
Recently, I believe that I’ve just been moving so quickly that I’ve been losing sight of how to do things and actually enjoy them. I’ve been killing myself with work, homework, artwork, writing-work(hehe) and the whole bit(with some video games in there somewhere) recently.
I can no longer piece together things through creative thinking. I used to put together stories in my mind like there was no tomorrow, and fight with myself about which one to START(key word). Now, I get nothing, even when I’ve got an assignment to create story for Media Arts.
I’m unmotivated to do much digital work on the computer, simply because scanning is such a pain in the butt. Not only that, but I’ve been pushing it to the side in order to get all my other work finished.
Something about today’s devotions seemed to spark something in me. Maybe this self-realization that I can’t escape from the common fast-paced society that I live in no matter how hard I try.
But I don’t care. I’ll still try. I don’t want to live life in a way that drains all the fun from it. I want to be the kid me forever. I want to be fun, for my friends, for my kids if ever I have any. Because I know what it feels like to not have fun parents(for the most part). It’s not much their fault, and I don’t blame them for anything. I just want my kids to enjoy life like I do, and not to think that life is just another chore.
It’s France/Italy Time!
I’m so excited! Other than packing and buying odds and ends, everything is finished for the trip. All the payments are paid(and choking my bank account at 2000). Now, I’ve just got to memorize my entire French-English dictionary….YEA RIGHT!
We leave this Friday at 1:15. And it will be about a 6 hour flight overnight, through the turbulance of the Atlantic ocean. We’ll see how well it goes. I’m also kind of worried about going to Italy…seeing as I don’t speak a word of Italian.
I’ll post more about this when I get back! And expect…pictures!
Coming Up Short?
For those of you who know me: This post isn’t about me being a shrimp =P.
Well, work’s been going nice recently. Besides a few broken plates today, it’s just been smooth sailing. I tell you…it’s hard to navigate in that kitchen…the trolleys JUST fit.
We had a meeting last week Wednesday, telling us that Reba has now taken a full-time position and is in charge of us. She tells us something, we do it. I think she’ll do a great job. She’s quite reasonable. They also pointed out some things that we should be doing a little better. Nothing too serious.
But, today while I was going about my usual rounds on the 2:30 – 3:30 shift of doing desserts, I discovered something new. Apparently, I’m not supposed to be doing them anymore. Instead, it’s the new dishwasher’s job. Ron. I can understand that, seeing as this and last week we were working on desserts together.
It’s nice that they tell me this…I wish they woulda told me at 2:30 so I coulda gone home earlier =P. I asked the managers-in-training about it. They didn’t know. I also asked Jan, a co-manager, and she also didn’t know. But she assured me that if Paul was the one to tell me this, it was true. And I trust Paul.
But what’s also strange is the fact that I had Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday off this week(previous), and that I don’t have any shifts on those days the coming week. I like to believe that they’re being considerate of the fact that I’m going off to France in a week, and are giving me the time to prepare. If so, I’ve gotta thank them ^^.
But, if I don’t have my regular shifts when I come back…I’m gonna wonder. I don’t want to have three days off like that. I’d rather work at least one of them. So…if my schedule is like that, I’ll just mention to them that I want either Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday as a work day.
And again, Ernesto didn’t show up for work today. I wonder what his story will be for today. lol. But we were good. We still had 4 people(the new guy, Chris, was training for lunch today. He’s actually really good. I gotta talk to him more.) We were still done by 2:30.
So…I’ll see if my schedule changes next week, and decide on what to do from there.
Thanks for readin ^^
